Hala lagot!?!!!


My temper the past week can be described as simmering, in a rolling boil to seething. All because I am or was pissed off. I snap with the smallest remark to me. Its been one of the most grueling weeks for me in my entire adult life. Emotionally that is.

The usually suplado yet sunny disposition I have, became irritable and waspish. Not a pretty site. I had this scowl fixed on my face (its true, frowning is tiring.. what more a scowl..). I was in a very, very fetid mood. Everyone in my immediate vicinity were targets of my ire. Family, friends, officemates, even total strangers.

But life has its own way of telling us, “What the fuck?? Umayos ka nga?!!”. Sometimes its subtle, there are times it comes like a raging bull, and there are times when its just down-right hilarious that its like a splash of ice cold water on your warm balls (that feeling would surely jolt you back to your senses).

My wake-up call from my stupor or despondent state came to me this morning on my way home from work. Was not in the mood to wait in line for the FX so I decided to take the cab. Running low on cash flow, I got off a few blocks away from our street. I had to cross a busy street so while waiting for the traffic to slow down, I took out my kaha of smokes and got a stick. As I was about to put the stick of Marlboro lights in my mouth, a greasy woman (taong grasa) came up to me and said “Boss, akin nalang yan”. Without batting an eye or changing the scowl on my face, I handed it to her. What lightened up my mood that morning was when she actually posed for me to light the yosi for her. With a smirk, I did light her yosi. “Aba, ayus ah. iba ka” was the thought in my head. After her first drag, she thanked me (here comes the whole point of this story… ang tagal noh?) and said “Wag ka na magalit sa kanya. OK na yun.” Literally my jaw dropped. The only thing I uttered was “Hala lagot!”. Before I could ask her what does she mean, she was off sashaying in the busy street. She almost got hit though she didn’t mind at all.

The whole point of this rant is, was my anger really, as in really that obvious that even a deranged woman can tell? Her remark left me standing at the curb dumbfounded. And then it hit me. Why do I have to be pissed off? What’s the point? Will things turn to my favor if I stay mad? No. Will it bring me any good? Obviously not. While walking home, again I realized that I myself hate myself when I’m mad. What more the people around me. Why should I spread my poison to those who truly love me? Diba?

And for that, as much I grudgingly didn’t want to do it (because of my pride), inayos ko na ulit. Though I don’t know what will happen now that I did, at least I wouldn’t be consumed with my anger and hatred anymore. I did my move. I think its high time for me to wait for the next.