Who Did I Kill In My Past Life


I am a strong believer of karma... You know, the one that goes back to you 3 fold after doing something good or nasty..

For that, it makes me wonder.. What crime did i do or who the hell did I kill in my past life for having such bad karma??? (in relationships that is). Im a good boy naman ah (hala lagot! buhatin ba ang sariling bangko?? teeh-hee). Yeah, I know I do have my moments as prima bitchesa and the ass hole. Hey, we all have moments like this. But seriously, I am a good guy. Alam nyo yan! (galit? hehehe).

What made me realize or think about who did i kill in my past life is, as usualy, another failed attempt to have a serious relationship. For someone who has had a fucking streak of bad luck when it comes to this, i amaze myself. I still get hurt. As in.

To make things worse, I did every concievable thing to make the damn thing work. Stretched my patience to the utmost limit. Held my tounge when i wanted to make a blistering comment on something hes done, controlled my temper even though I wanted to errupt like Mt Vesuvious. Did everything he asked me to, even though I dont normally do it. Lets not even begin with the sex part, but to give you an idea, think ICE QUEEN, frigid is the word.To top it all, I gave way, say 99% of the time. Para lang wala kaming problema.

Now the clincher, nagsawa siya sakin. Bwakanginang yan!!! He had the audacity to say such a thing. Gawd! Parang ako yata ang dapat magsabi nun. Hindot. If anyone should be getting sick and tired of whats happening, It should be me. But no! Being the good guy that i am (hala lagot, ito nanaman siya oh.. hehehe).

What the fuck, right? You did everything to make things run smoothly, and what do I get, CRAP. Crap in my face (eeww..).


Im not carping about what happened. Nor regret the turn of events. Just wanted to take this thing of my head... Bewildered am I from what transpired in the past 24 hours...

Its hard to be the one carrying the relationship. Its hard to pretend everything is ok. Its hard to swallow (not that heheh) your pride, its hard to give way all the time. But you will do everything for the guy that you love. Everything would be ok, kahit barya lang ang bigay niya. Kaso hindi eh. You (well it me actually, not you), barely felt being love. Yeah, he had his brief moments of being sweet (thats becacuse he knows im really pissed off). ah ewan. Malas lang talaga ako when it comes to this.

Well, as they say, What doesnt kill you or me, will only make you stronger but makes me more jaded. Hahahaha!